Opening thoughts

I work Tuesday through Saturday, which means I miss a lot of good college football. But it also means that on Mondays after a Pats victory I get to enjoy a day of watching all the highlights, coaches' press conferences, post-game reviews, and analysis on the NFL Network, ESPN, and ESPN News. When the Pats lose I'm a little more productive on Mondays.

It was an entertaining first week (thanks mostly to Wes Welker). Pete Carroll was beyond pumped and jacked as his Seahawks stunned the Niners 31-6. I'll say one thing for Carroll, he doesn't change. He wears his enthusiasm on his sleeve whether he's in New England, Southern California, or the great Northwest. His jumping around is fun to watch. It's just not a smart use of a coach's time to be running around high-fiving players and fist-pumping. He should keep his focus on the game. San Fran's Mike Singletary never loses his focus. In classic Singletary fashion, in his Monday press conference he thanked Carroll and the Seahawks for the stomping. "Tell Pete Carroll thank you very much for kicking our ass," Singletary said. "It was good medicine, and we're going to take it."

FOSTER: 42.30 fantasy points.

Speaking of ass kickings, Peyton Manning and the Colts' luck finally ran out against the Houston Texans. The Colts have stolen a few wins away from Houston the past few years. But this time, behind running back Arian Foster, the Texans jumped all over Indy early and often. Foster ran for 231 yards and three touchdowns. (I started him over Shonn Greene on my fantasy team -- if I could only be that smart all the time). The Network's Mike Lombardi found a silver lining for Indianapolis. "The Colts will bounce back and now they don't have to worry about the perfect season anymore." A perfect season? It's only fhe first week. Why would they already be worrying about that? Oh, right. They are the Colts.

The Patriots were the other easy winner of the day. My favorite play of the game: Pats opening drive, the offense faces a 2nd-and-five from the Cincy 8-yard line. They line up with Faulk in the backfield and Moss alone on the right. On the left, Welker lines up a few yards from the sideline with Rob Gronkowski just to his left and Alge Crumpler a step in front of him. Brady took the snap and chucked a quick pass to Welker who tucked himself in behind the twin towers of Gronk and Alge. They slammed the two defenders easily out of the way allowing Welker to scoot almost untouched into the end zone. The three new tight ends didn't take long to show the kind of impact they can have.

A key part of the success of the play was Moss, all alone on the right side, attracting the attention of four of the seven defensive backs/linebackers. A good example of the value of Moss even when he's not the focus of the play.

The Steelers survived the first of four games without Big Ben. If they are 3-1 or better when he gets back then they are a serious contender. The Skins won their first game under coach Mike Shanahan thanks mostly to Cowboys coach Wade Phillips. The Cowboys called a pitch-out play with four seconds left in the half and the ball inside their own 30. A fumble later the Skins scored an easy TD that proved the difference in the game. I don't get Jerry Jones's devotion to Phillips but I kind of respect it.

The Jaguars, Giants, Titans, Pack, and Lions also posted big opening victories. What? The Lions didn't win? How's that possible? Right. They got robbed.

The silver and blue finally won a road game after 21 straight defeats when receiver Calvin Johnson caught what looked like a winning TD pass only to have the refs rule that he didn't maintain control of the ball. Check the video below. He catches the ball, takes two steps as he goes to the ground, rolls halfway over (still with control of the ball), and as he goes to get up he puts the ball on the ground and drops it there to go celebrate. If it looks like a touchdown and smells like a touchdown ...

But the NFL's czar of officiating, Mike Pereira. said that the rule was properly interpreted and the touchdown correctly disallowed.

The rule says: "If a player goes to the ground in the act of catching a pass (with or without contact by an opponent), he must maintain control of the ball after he touches the ground, whether in the field of play or the end zone. If he loses control of the ball, and the ball touches the ground before he regains control, the pass is incomplete. If he regains control prior to the ball touching the ground, the pass is complete."

So Johnson caught the ball, went to the ground, maintained control of the ball after touching the ground, and only lost the ball as he was getting back up off the ground. Yet the play was called correctly.

Huh. I guess now not only do you have to catch the ball and land on the ground for it to be a touchdown -- you also have to get up, shower, get in your Mercedes, and drive home all while maintaining possession of the ball.

Detroit, a team that needs every win it can get, should be 1-0. Haven't Lions fans suffered enough?

Pregame parade

Being a season-ticket holder, one of the things I don't get to do as often as I used to is settle into the couch on a Sunday morning and watch all the pregame coverage. So I brewed up some Peet's and decided to see if my remote control skills were still there. Just like riding a bike.

First stop: Fox. The network that turned the pregame show into a circus by adding comedians and cartoon graphics of robots. The starting lineup on the NFL Sunday morning shows change every year. Checking out the Fox desk I see former Giant Michael Strahan has joined Terry Bradshaw, Howie Long (is he still there?), and Jimmy Johnson. I guess JJ is really not coming back to coaching.

The camera cuts to Strahan awarding a hideous red Ford Taurus to a woman who won a contest. "It's all voice activated. You can just talk and tell it to do things," says Strahan. "Really. I drove this thing around for a few weeks." Not sure what this has to do with football. Then the anchors start talking about the Steelers-Vikings clash. Good. That's a big game. What insight can they give me? Bradshaw says the Steelers should be careful what they wish for in playing Brett Favre (who came into the league the same time as Bradshaw I think). "Caveat emptor" Bradshaw says to Strahan who looks at him as if he was speaking Latin. "I speak English," Strahan says. It's not good when Bradshaw looks smarter than you.

Switch to the NFL Network and Michael Lombardi is breaking down the Colts-Texans game. Finally! Some actual football talk. Love the NFL Network. The new NFL RedZone channel shows that American ingenuity is still alive and well. Lombardi talks excitedly about the Colts offense and their "explosive aerosol passing attack." Click.

No pregame viewing would be complete without checking in on ESPN's "NFL Countdown" hosted by the Boomer Chris Berman. I don't know anyone who hasn't grown a little tired of the Boomer's act. He's lost his fastball when it comes to his rapid-fire delivery. But he's the Boomer. Like Johnny Carson, it's just comforting to see him. What isn't comforting is watching Tom Jackson and Keyshawn Johnson standing on a green floor that is supposed to simulate a football field. Jackson's holding a ball. He's explaining something about how you stop the wildcat offense. He and Keyshawn, wearing some darn sharp suits, start acting out the plays. I'm too distracted by Keyshawn's tie to follow what they are saying. It's never a good idea when an anchor or analyst leaves his or her desk. Never. Just show me some game film. Don't act it out.

Commercial. Time to go to the ... wait. There's David Spade in one of those Direct TV commercials where they take an actor in a movie scene and then record the actor looking like he's still in the scene but talking about Direct TV while the rest of the scene continues as usual. Only he's reenacting the classic "fat guy in little coat" scene from "Tommy Boy." Spade is spliced into the original scene with his old pal Chris Farley. Who's dead. Spade must have told himself as he cashed the check that it would make a great homage. It's just ghoulish.

Back to ESPN. The feature is "Ditka's Doghouse." Snoop Dog made the theme song. Snoop and Ditka. Makes sense. Ditka goes into Iron Mike ramble mode and rips on the Chargers for their being all mouth and no game. Have to agree with him there even though I only understood about half of what he said. Next feature is a special report on the old "Superstars" TV show of the early '70s. The episode pitted the Steelers against the Vikings in a Super Bowl rematch featuring one of the greatest tug-of-war battles in the history of sports involving rope.

Back to the NFL Network and the talk focuses on the Pats vs. the Bucs in London. Warren Sapp, former Buc, sums it up for his Tampa team: "That's a long way to go for a bum whipping." Click.

Time for "The NFL Today" on CBS. There's Dan Marino, Boomer (Esiason, not Berman), Shannon Sharpe, and former Steeler coach Bill Cowher. They are making their predictions for the games and Sharpe is holding a wrestling championship belt which I think means he won picking games last season. We have one of those for the loser in our family fantasy league.

Cut to a feature on the NFL's future in London. There's Bob Kraft looking dapper standing outside what could be 10 Downing Street. What's that he's saying? "If we expand the schedule to 18 games I think within a decade we could have an NFL franchise in London." He says the game is catching on in the land of rugby and soccer. Cut to a couple of English guys who were just asked what they know about the NFL. "I don't watch American football," said one gent. "There was a player called the Fridge right?" Looks like it's really catching on. A franchise in London? An 18-game schedule? Well, I'll enjoy the NFL for now ... till they destroy it. It's just right the way it is. Bigger is not always better. Except in nose tackles.

1 p.m. approaches and it's time to make a sandwich and pour a beer. I'm ready to watch some football. But I can't say I know anymore about the games than I did before a morning of watching television.

I'm looking forward to the Miami tailgate in two weeks.