'Send the National Guard ...'

TALES FROM THE TAILGATE
Broncos 34, Patriots 8 (11/17/'96): The Patriots head to Denver yet again for a huge regular season game. It very rarely goes well out there. Actually, it doesn't go too well wherever the Pats play the Broncos. Denver is 25-16 all-time against the Pats. Tom Brady is 1-6 against the team from Colorado. There have been some ugly losses in those games for the Pats. Ugly.

I've been to a lot of great games over the past 20-plus years. They are the games that all Pats fans remember fondly. But I've seen some heartbreaking losses and been to some blowouts that had me daydreaming of the post-game hamburgers by halftime.

There was the game in '98 against Atlanta when the line getting into the old concrete toilet bowl was so long we missed the first ten minutes. By the time we got to our seats the score was already 21-3 Falcons. It was one of the rare games that our co-worker Ken came with us. Sorry Ken. There was the '95 game against the Saints that ended with me slouched up against my car in the parking lot after the Pats surrendered two touchdowns (69-yard pass, 66-yard run) late in the game for a 31-17 loss and an official end to that season's playoff hopes.

The Super Bowl Patriots had their moments too. In '05 the defending champs were in a great battle with the Chargers on a beautiful October day. The score was tied 17-17 at the half and Paul and I said something like "This team is just so much fun to watch." ... The Chargers outscored the Pats 24-0 in the second half. The lasting memory of the day -- other than the post-game burgers -- is Antonio Gates making catch after catch as he brushed of would be tacklers like flies at a tailgate. It was ugly.

But not as ugly as the ugliest game I have ever had the bad luck of witnessing. And of course, it was against the Denver Broncos.

The Broncos came into Foxborough with a 9-1 record against the Parcells' Pats and their 7-3 record. It was a statement game. The Broncos made the statement. By the end of the first half it was 24-0. Denver out rushed the Pats 198 yards to 17. The Denver D stuffed Drew Bledsoe, holding him to just over 200 yards passing and a pick. It was one of those games where the loudest sound of the day -- other than Denver running backs smashing into and over Pats defenders -- was the groans from the stands after almost every play.

We sat on the visitors side in the old stadium. Though we were pretty far up we could see that the Denver players -- especially Shannon Sharpe -- were mocking Pats fans as the score got higher and higher. The stadium emptied out after the score hit 34-8. At one point Sharpe picked up one of the sideline phones and got into an animated conversation. We thought maybe he was ordering pizza since the game was all but over.

It wasn't till I got home and turned on SportsCenter that I saw what Sharpe was saying on the phone. "Mr. President! Call the National Guard... Send help! ... We are killing the Patriots!"

There'll be no Shannon Sharpe making calls to the president today. But there will be Tebow making calls to God. I like the Pats chances this time around.